http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/ Digital Ash in a Digital Urn Sat, 09 Feb 2008 18:00:00 PST http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2008. Art Music Poetry http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/122.html Sat, 09 Feb 2008 15:57:20 GMT Relationships... Friendships...People. The definition of fucking awful. I dont know how I pick the people around me... I always seem to end up in the fucked up situation. A shitty life, I can deal with. I can take it. But these feelings, these situations, with other living breathing people. If you had told me things would be this way a few years ago, Id probably tell you youre an idiot and laugh in your face. Stupid, stupid old Rene... You were so much better... No, no you werent. You were just simpler... Screwed up, too many problems, over emotional, but so much simpler. The days when I... (more) http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=122 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/121.html Tue, 29 Jan 2008 20:19:45 GMT I never realised how good some friends can make you <deleted> feel. I know they can put you through shit, and sometimes they take alot of maintenance. But I dont think you realise how good it is to have them around, untill you dont see them forever. Then you speak to them, and you wonder what kind of idiot you were to ever think you didnt need them. Everyone has their place in this big puzzle. big... big puzzle. Called my screwy life. Everyone comes together with their little inputs into one big friend machine that spouts fuzzy happiness and glowing exteriors, most times, if not all.... (more) http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=121 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/120.html Mon, 21 Jan 2008 19:49:44 GMT ugh. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I just feel so screwed up. I have no reason to feel this way at all... I keep on trying to blame people around me, but theres nothing wrong with them. Its just all me. I keep on trying to say "just wait things out till that happens, then itll be ok." But how would that help, when its me Im not ok with? I just wish I could change things. Everything would be so different. I feel like I cant even be my normal self, because I cant feel enough to give to other people. I just want to be alone somewhere.... and I dont know why... http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=120 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/119.html Sat, 19 Jan 2008 22:22:36 GMT I wrote an entry. It got deleted... Basically it said: I feel lost. I dont know what Im doing. Why am i fucking around with iTunes on a saturday night? Its not like it would be hard to find something better to do. "oh, here is a lemon. Let me cut it in half and pour its juice into my eye. Im already having more fun!" It also said something about the cosmos giving me a map with a star on one side, "You Are Here" and a question mark on the opposite side, "Where you Should be" and in the middle they chucked a whole field of cluster fucks, mountains, valleys, pits of venemous leprachauns and the... (more) http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=119 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/118.html Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:07:53 GMT Ive made a huge mistake.... http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=118 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/117.html Fri, 07 Dec 2007 12:53:15 GMT discoveries of a socially awkward shitty person. Feel like buying that book? http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=117 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/116.html Fri, 07 Dec 2007 12:49:31 GMT Fuck. I dont even know what to do anymore. Just, fuck... Everytime. a) write some dark story b) something arb to make me feel better *just sits* http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=116 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/115.html Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:31:09 GMT It seems that, everyone you think you should be able to trust, turn out to be the ones that you can’t ever rely on. I kind of knew that Id always do things myself, but it’s never really hit home. I really have to do everything alone. I don’t even know how people I care for and love could make me choose between them and something else, yet, it’s always been that way. Yay for ignoring everything until it hits you in the face, Rene. *thumbs up* It’s SO much more exciting... Except, I don’t know how that happened. When I do so much for everyone, and never ask for anything, but... (more) http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=115 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/114.html Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:31:02 GMT Im surrounded by fucking perfect people. I have to keep being stronger and harder just to cope without constantly falling on my face. I cant keep doing this http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=114 http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/archive/113.html Mon, 24 Sep 2007 20:03:14 GMT I had something meaningfull I wanted to write here. Something that i really wanted to get off my chest all weekend. But it really just seems trivial now. I guess nostalgia just got the better of me for a moment... Amazing how nostalgia is the one that gets me, every time. Bad memories! Bad. Down boy http://dead-eyes.blogdrive.com/comments?id=113